Hunger and Thirst

I've felt pretty dry and empty recently, which has resulted in a lot of ingratitude and anger.  I'll spare you the details.  But after running into a dear friend at the grocery store today who I hadn't seen in quite some time, I was reminded of why I am feeling so beat up.  Seeing her reminded me of a note she gave me in 2009, along with an article by John Piper and a reference list of Scripture reminding us of our true identities.  I have kept these things in my Bible since she gave them to me because they are so dear.  Here is a little snippet of the Piper article, entitled "Are You Satisfied With God?"

If Christ is not the satisfaction of my heart, would people really believe me when I herald His words, "I am the bread of life; He who comes to Me will never go hungry, and he who believes in Me will never be thirsty? (John 6:35)?

The glory of bread is that it satisfies.  The glory of living water is that it quenches thirst.  We do not honor the refreshing, self-replenishing, pure water of a mountain spring by lugging buckets of water up the path to make our contributions from the ponds below.  We honor the spring by feeling thirsty, and getting down on our knees, and drinking with joy.  Then we say, "Ahhhhh!" (that's worship); and we go on our journey in the strength of the fountain (that's service).  The mountain spring is glorified most when we are most satisfied with its water.

I'm feeling thankful this afternoon that God is reminding me of how pitiful my attempts to quench my hunger and thirst are compared with what He freely offers!  And I am praying for grace to continue to draw me near and compel me to run hard after Him in the midst of feeling extremely overwhelmed and exhausted.  That is exactly why I should want run to Him after all, isn't it?  Why does it sometimes feel like one more thing to add to the list?  It is my fuel...it is what gives me everything I need to live for Him and enjoy Him and His gifts...so why do I look at it as such a duty?  And not only is delighting in Him my fuel...it truly IS most delightful!  It doesn't even compare with the things I choose to run to when I'm feeling empty.  But it is so hard to believe that and choose it in certain seasons of life.  And it is a choice.  My husband reminded me on the phone today to think about the things I am grateful for...which I of course blew off because I was feeling so sorry for myself.  But he is so right.  My dear friend Bridget used to tell me that all the time when I would call her complaining about things.  She would say, "It sounds like you need to count your blessings, sugar."  And the first thing I have to be thankful for is that God has chosen in His mercy and grace to restore me to Himself and give me the blessings of fellowship with Him...among all of the many earthly gifts I get to enjoy.  I pray He will continue to separate the lies from the Truth of Who He really is in my heart.